How are American women when it comes to love? Generalizing about how “American women” feel about love is difficult because the U.S. is a vast and diverse country. Attitudes toward love and relationships vary greatly based on age, culture, education, location, and individual personality. However, based on recent research and trends, here are some key insights into how American women approach love today:
How are American women when it comes to love?

Shifting Priorities and Independence
- American women Love vs. Marriage: While many women still desire a long-term, loving partnership, marriage is no longer seen as the sole or most important life goal. Women, particularly in younger generations and those who are college-educated, are increasingly delaying or forgoing marriage. This is often because they have more economic independence and see marriage as a choice for a partnership of equals, not a necessity for financial or social stability.
- Focus on Self-Fulfillment: A growing number of single American women are prioritizing their careers, personal goals, and self-fulfillment. This is a major reason why many report not actively dating, as they have other “more important priorities” or simply enjoy being single.
- Egalitarian Relationships: There’s a strong and growing preference for egalitarian relationships where both partners contribute financially and share domestic responsibilities. This shift from the traditional “breadwinner-homemaker” model is a key factor in modern American relationships.
Challenges and Dating Fatigue
- Dating is Harder: Many American women feel that dating has become harder over the last decade. They often cite an increased risk of harassment, a sense of emotional disconnect, and a general feeling that men are less interested in commitment.
- Online Dating: While online dating is a common way to meet people, many women express frustration with the experience. Concerns include the safety of dating apps, the prevalence of casual hookup culture, and a perceived lack of sincerity among some users.
- “Romantic Recession”: Some researchers describe a “romantic recession” in the U.S., where many single adults, especially women, have grown pessimistic about their chances of finding a partner. This can lead to dating fatigue and a decision to stop looking for love altogether.
American Women: What Women Look for in a Partner
- Emotional Connection and Respect: American women highly value emotional intimacy and a partner who is a good listener, empathetic, and communicative. This is often more important than grand romantic gestures.
- Shared Values and Goals: Compatibility is key. Women want a partner who shares their values and is on a similar life path. This can include anything from political beliefs to career ambitions and a desire for children.
- Actions Over Words: A 2017 Penn State study found that Americans, in general, agree that small, non-romantic gestures—like someone showing compassion or being present—are more loving than simply saying “I love you.” This suggests that women, in particular, value authenticity and actions that demonstrate care.
In short, the modern American woman’s approach to love is complex and multifaceted. While the desire for a deep, meaningful connection remains, it is often balanced with a strong sense of personal independence and a rejection of traditional, patriarchal relationship dynamics. The dating landscape can be challenging, but there is also a clear demand for more respectful, emotionally intelligent, and genuinely collaborative partnerships.